Missing my puppy

I can't believe how much I still miss my little puppy. He was just such a personality. One of my friends at Ivy Tech told me to get another dog, but that would be like replacing a child - it just wouldn't work.
I have started on my paper. It's beeni kind of difficult as I've been a little sick today. I also had to go shopping as we were totally out of food. I have to finish my paper by Friday; get the house in some kind of order, and fix some meals for Grandma. I've tried to get her to call Steve to see if he can come and spend a couple of nights with her, and she hasn't yet. I don't know what I'm going to do. I really need this vacation. Maybe a change of scenery will help me to be less sad. I certainly hope so. I just haven't felt like doing anything since Copper died, and this just can't go on. My ex stole so many years from me, and I would like to have some good, happy ones in the future - beginning now.
I hope my paper turns out well. I think I have good research, and it's a topic I feel very strongly about - dating violence and rape. I'm thinking that if it's good enough that I may forward it to some of the people at work. Rape prevention really needs to start much earlier that it does. Well, it actually doesn't as the majority of rape prevention programs target women, making them the victims. Many rapes have already been perpetrated before college age, and alcohol is a contributing factor - beginning at home as kids have to have someone older to give it to them.
Well, I'm not making much sense now. I'm really tired and still want to do a couple of other things before bed. I just hope I can sleep tonight. Last night was rough!

Copper's been gone a week, today

Copper's been gone a week today. I still expect him to come home! Everyone misses him so much. Callie waits at the top of the porch stairs for him and often just wants to turn around and come back without him. Gretel goes through the house and barks when she smells his scent. This morning, she jumped at the bathtub and started barking - and barking and barking. She barked all morning. She also went into my room to sniff around and bark a little. I hope it gets better soon. This has been a miserable year.
I've felt so bad, and we were ripped off by Gary to the tune of over $300 dollars. It's just been so difficult adjusting to new medicines and being so tired. Then Rhea Dawn dying on Easter Sunday like she did was just awful. But I had to keep on - work, work, and more work.
The wedding was beautiful, but stressful, and then my money disappearing like that just when we needed it the most. I just don't understand how that happened. Going from extra to a big negative was quite a shock.
All the things that I have to do at home is so overwhelming, and now this! The puppies have been like my children, and now Copper is gone, and I miss his quirky sense of humor. He was so funny and happy. He didn't deserve to go like that. I don't know why he would go like that - especially that day as it was so hot, and he always stayed close when it was hot.
So, for nearly two weeks, I've worried and mourned. It's difficult.

Still Sad

I'm still so sad over Copper's passing. I just miss him always being here. I could trust him with my life; he would protect me with his. I miss his "Copper and away" morning greetings when he would come into the room and stand on his hind feet to tell me he was ready to go outside. He was mean to the cats (not totally undeserved), kind of selfish, but I loved him all the same. He was like one of my babies after the kids left, and I just miss him so much!

Copper

I am so sad. Copper didn't survive his injuries. It is just about unbearable. This year has been so bad anyway, and now this. I just feel like I should have done this... or that. I know that you can't second guess and that hindsight is better, but I'm just at the point where something like this is just so hard. I really loved that little dog, and I was so sure that he was going to make it, and then he didn't. I don't know how I'm going to clean out his little man cave under the dining room table or take his little bed out from under the end table in the living room.
I will miss him being under my bed and coming to get me up in the morning to let him out. He was an annoying little dog, but he was so sweet, too. It just wasn't right that it should end so.
Copper, I love you and will miss you. I will see you again because I'm sure there's heaven for you, too.

Copper Update

Copper seems to be feeling a lot better today. He's drinking a lot more water but hasn't eaten yet. I hope he gets to feeling better soon. He's so lucky to be alive.
It's still HOT here, and I'm awfully tired of it being hot! Doesn't help the puppy either.

Copper

Copper is doing better today. He's drinking a little water but still not eating. I'm worried about him, but he seems to be feeling a littler better as he is now fighting me when I try to give him his medicine. I hope he'll start feeling better soon. There sure are a lot of pills to give him.
Just a few weeks and my youngest and I will be in Colorado. Got a lot to do before we go. I'm looking forward to going - I just wish it didn't cost so much.
Guess, I better close. Just wanted to post a Copper update.

Homework and more homework

I just finished my homework for my Psychology and Social Change class. It was interesting trying to fit my topic - campus rape and dating violence - into sustainability of the enviornment. I can't believe that after all these years I'm finally pursuing the dream of completing my master's in mental health counseling and beginning my PhD in psychology. I have wanted to get a PhD since my 20's and decided on counseling a few years later. Unfortunately, an unhappy (to say the least) marriage, and a horrible divorce prevented my returning to school.
I was lucky enough to get a job teaching, but I couldn't get counseling, and hopefully helping others, out of my mind. I guess that counseling is a calling, for when I began my practicum, I felt like this was what I was meant to do. I finally understood the idea that if you're work is something you love, then it is not work.
I enjoyed working at the homeless shelter so much, and I miss the people there. I wish I could continue working there, but I can't afford to at the moment. I learned so much about people and what they have to endure. I wish that I had money! I would love to be able to help them out.
Well, I am so tired and not making sense, so I'd better close for now. Tomorrow will be a busy day. Housework, taking caring of Copper, getting things for mom, working on my paper and syllabus, and can't forget the lesson plans!